The very first thing you need to know about Vancouver is that we're talking about the Canadian city, not the one in Washington. And the next thing you should know about this city up North is that locals tend to pronounce it as 'Vangcouver'... yes, with a g. We won't ever fully admit to it but we can poke a little fun, as we've done here with these ridiculously Vancouver things you need to do at least once.
Balance your insanely high rent with a cheap sushi diet
Anyone who actually lives in Vancouver knows that a reasonable rent cost will only get you someone's half-bunk bed, living room, couch, or even closet. Luckily, you can almost balance out the difference with the city's insanely-cheap sushi. Stuff your face with $7 California roll combos (miso soup included) and make sure you sub in brown rice. After all, you don't really fit in here if you aren't eating healthy and bragging about it. In fact, Instagram it.
Shop 'til you drop at Lululemon, then Aritzia
Unless you're wearing something from Lululemon or Artizia, you're going to look very out of place in Vancouver. So before you do anything else, shop both storefronts and spend around $250 for a pair of yoga pants and a cute (but totally not machine-washable) sweater. Slap on some Adidas or Nikes and a Yankees cap (despite the fact we're on the west coast and don't even watch baseball) and you're good to go!
Do a yoga pose on the seawall and Instagram it
Oh look, an opportunity for you to actually put those yoga pants you now own to use. Whether or not you're a yogi is indifferent, as long as you can nail a good Triangle pose for the few seconds it takes to snap a picture. Bonus points for doing it all on the seawall ledge, with the ocean as your backdrop. Apply a Valencia filter — or better yet, #nofilter — and boom, you belong here.
SUP in English Bay
If you really want to get a unique Vancouver experience, float a board into English Bay and participate in some SUP. An acronym for stand up paddle boarding, it's a great workout, and really immerses you in the outdoorsy aspect of the city (you know, the whole mountains and ocean all in one place thing). Better yet, do yoga while you're out there. If you take away just one tip from this article, make it yoga.
Drive an exotic sports car... with an N
You're not really living day-to-day life in Vancouver right unless you're driving an exotic sports car with an N on the back. Part of British Columbia's driving program, the N stands for 'new driver', and is usually only used by 17 or 18 year olds. Now that we think about it, the younger you are the nicer car you should have, and you should always, always drive it around the block in circles just in case someone didn't notice your obnoxiously loud engine and custom paint job the first time.
Go to a Canucks game, then leave when they start to lose
Vancouverites are notoriously loyal to their local hockey team, except when they start to lose. Which, by the way, is something the Canucks tend to do. Get the full experience by paying a good couple hundred dollars for your seats, settling in with some warm beer, and cheering them out of the gates. Then when they start to lose, complain about how much they suck and storm out of the stadium. Unless of course they win — then you keep cheering. Contradiction here is key.
Get used to the weather, and always talk about it
Did we mention Vancouver is permanently grey and wet? Oh look, we're already talking about it, and that's exactly what you should do. If you need some fun facts to get you started, the city broke it's own 61-year-old rainfall record just last month. Side tip just in case you happen to catch us on a ridiculously rare sunny day — definitely complain that it's too bright, or too hot, or too... windy. Yes, good.
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